What Is a Bridal Shower? Definition & How to Throw One

Celebrating a soon-to-be bride with a special event started in the 1800s. Over the years, the bridal shower has evolved–like many wedding celebrations have. But at the end of the day, the main focus of a bridal or wedding shower is the guest of honor and providing them with useful, thoughtful gifts for their new life and home.

What is a bridal shower?

A bridal shower is a party held in honor of the bride before the wedding day. At its core, it's a show of support and love. The intent is to show that friends and family are there for the bride as she steps into a new part of her life. Her nearest and dearest “shower” her with presents at the party.

“Bridal shower” is the traditional name for the gathering, but a more inclusive type of party is a “wedding shower,” which can include the entire couple—not just the bride.

What’s the point of a bridal shower?

A wedding shower is a great way to gather with family and friends one more time before the wedding. If you’re invited to a wedding shower, then this is your opportunity to share some of your time with the soon-to-be-weds, celebrate the momentous occasion of an impending wedding, and present useful gifts.

If you’re hosting the wedding shower, then you must be very close to the couple. This is your moment to show your adoration as a friend or family member. You’re crafting an event to help celebrate in every way possible.

Where did bridal showers come from?

Legend has it that bridal showers started in 16th century Holland when a bride’s father was too poor to offer up a dowry (money) to her groom. The town banded together to shower her with gifts to give the young couple’s new life together a head start.

There are no hard and fast rules for bridal showers. You can change the celebration in any way you wish. Therefore, it can be a larger party for the couple, or you can keep things traditional and focused on the bride. It’s all up to you.

Expert Advice: Get more details on the history of this traditional wedding event in our complete Guide to Bridal Showers.

Who throws the bridal shower?

The bridal shower is typically organized by those who spend a lot of time with the nearlyweds. The most common choice is the wedding attendant closest to the couple, such as the maid-of-honor. However, if they haven’t chosen one yet, a close friend or family member can chat with the bride about the celebration and who she’d like to organize it.

Who comes to the bridal shower?

The bride is the guest of honor, but other attendees on the guest list traditionally include family and closest friends. Depending on the culture and location, that can mean an intimate 20 or a larger gathering of a few hundred.

Most times, guests at the shower have also been invited to the wedding. While male members traditionally do not participate, having a hybrid wedding shower for the happy couple is a trend that is gaining popularity. In cases of a groom-groom wedding, you can leave it up to the couple as to how they’d like to handle the event.

What happens at a wedding shower?

If you’re invited to a wedding shower, it’s expected that you RSVP confirming your attendance. Check if there is a gift registry where the couple has outlined the gifts to receive on the occasion. Unless you know the couple well and have a special wedding gift in mind that they will appreciate, do not get anything that is not listed. This is common wedding shower gift etiquette that you'll want to follow at most showers. Arrive for the event on the date and time specified, and adhere to any attire mentioned.

At the wedding shower venue, spend time interacting with the bride and also her close family and friends. There may be activities and games organized by the hosts that you will participate in. The host will serve food and drinks appropriate for the time of day, and you’ll possibly be provided with a thank-you favor of some sort to mark the day. Before you leave, remember to thank the hosts for inviting you and the bride for having you as part of her guest list. Check out our full Wedding Shower Guide for more expert advice.

How to throw a bridal shower

To throw a bridal shower, create a budget, then choose a date and a place to hold the shower. Draw up the guest list and the menu, and then invite the people who’ll attend the shower. Make a plan for attendees to buy gifts, and plan a few activities for the bride and her family and friends to enjoy.

1. Create a budget

Planning a bridal shower starts with knowing how much you can spend. Once you know, you’ll make better decisions about the venue, the size of the guest list, and the menu and activities. The typical small-town bridal shower will have a max of 20 guests, with cake, drinks, and appetizers. The typical budget for a shower like that is about $500.

If you’re not throwing a typical small-town wedding shower, the budget can be anything you like. If you have the funding, there’s no shame in going all out with a catered event at a venue and spending $5,000 or more. Make budgeting super easy with our free budget planner tool.

2. Choose a date

Pick a date for the bridal shower that works for the couple and most of the guests. The bride’s schedule is the most important here since she’s planning the wedding and needs to fit the shower into the rest of the wedding timeline.

Showers are often organized just a few weeks ahead of the wedding. As a result, the bride has most of her wedding planning done and can relax at this event. A shower closer to the wedding is also recommended so the bride has had enough time to think about the gifts. What would be useful for a future life and home? She can then provide that information to the organizers (or can show that via the wedding gift registry).

3. Choose a place

Wedding showers are mostly held in the afternoon or evening, where a smaller menu is offered, rather than a formal lunch or dinner. Typically, the venue is either a place of special significance for the bride or is simply one of convenience. Be sure the location can accommodate all the shower guests and the plans for the evening.

Often, wedding showers are held in a friend’s living room or backyard. For higher-budget celebrations, the bridal shower can be in a restaurant or a professional venue. You can choose to hold it at a park, beach, movie theater, or other place that’s rented out for parties.

Expert advice: Spice the shower up with these 7 Bridal Shower Traditions, Updated!

4. Create the guest list

Make a list of the couple’s closest friends and family members, then add to it to fit your budget. The couple should very much be a part of the selection process. That way, you can avoid cutting out people who would be meaningful to invite and not ask someone unwanted to show up. Check out Who Do I Invite to My Wedding Shower? for more details on the building the guest list.

5. Make the menu

Depending on your budget, you can supply appetizer platters from Costco, order pizza and wings, schedule catered food, or plan a potluck. Many bridal showers happen in the late morning. So, if the bride imbibes, think about supplying champagne and orange juice for mimosas or organizing other drinks (use our alcohol calculator to get precise amounts!). Pay close attention to your budget and your guest list size when planning the menu.

6. Send the invites

Once you have your budget, date, place, guest list, and menu, it’s time to send your bridal shower invites. This can be as simple as a group SMS or email with RSVP requests, but it’s fun to send paper invites, too. When the time comes, check out Zola’s wedding and bridal shower invitations, with dozens of beautiful designs.

7. Plan the gifts

When you plan a bridal shower, give the guests a little guidance about what kinds of presents to bring. Most couples will have a wedding registry, which is a great way to select gifts. If they don’t have a wedding registry or if you have questions about group gifts or how much to spend, see our guide on bridal shower gifts.

8. Plan activities

It’s fine to have a party with just cake, drinks, and talk, but including one or two bridal shower games can keep the festivities focused on the bride and her upcoming wedding. Games like Bridal Trivia, Guess the Memory, and Wedding Advice Cards can supply plenty of laughs while honoring the spirit of the event.

Expert advice: Check out How to Plan a Bridal Shower for an even more detailed step-by-step guide to throwing a memorable shower.

Wedding shower etiquette

No matter the culture, the wedding shower has the sole purpose of showering the soon-to-be-wed with your attention and love. It’s also for celebrating the impending big day and supporting one of the happiest times in life. There may be cultural nuances to consider, too. During American wedding showers, it’s customary to open gifts in front of the guests and for brides to thank guests in person for their gift and their presence. In other cultures, this is inconsiderate.

In some South Asian cultures, the occasion is marked by applying henna for all. Yet, in others, dancing is part of the evening’s activities. If in doubt, ask the host or organizer who invited you what to expect at the wedding shower and if there is anything that you need to know as a guest.

At the end of the day, all guests engage in what the bride chooses to have at the wedding shower. This is a way to show love and support as the big day inches closer.

Types of bridal showers

• Bridal shower brunch: A mid-morning gathering where guests celebrate with brunch foods and mimosas. Bloody Mary, anyone?
• Coin bridal shower: Guests bring coins or cash gifts to contribute to the couple's honeymoon or future.
• Couples’ bridal shower: A joint celebration for both the bride and groom, also called a Jack and Jill bridal shower.
• Display bridal shower: An elegant event where the bride’s gifts are put on display.
• Drop-in bridal shower: A casual party where guests can pop in and out at their convenience, giving gifts and best wishes.
• Floating bridal shower: A shower held on a boat or cruise.
• Kitchen bridal shower: A shower where the guests bring kitchen-related presents to help set up the new home.
• Lingerie bridal shower: A playful and intimate party where the bride-to-be is feted with lingerie and romantic items for her upcoming marriage.

Bridal shower FAQ

Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about bridal showers.

What is a good bridal shower gift?

The best bridal shower gift should come from the wedding registry—a list of items the couple wants and needs. You’ll buy a gift for both the shower and the wedding, but that doesn’t mean you have to overspend. Set a budget for your total spend, and then choose gifts that fit that budget.

What is the appropriate amount for a bridal shower gift?

How much to spend on a wedding shower gift depends heavily on your income and the couple’s. However, it’s common to spend $50 to $75 on a bridal shower gift. If you’re very close to the couple, you might spend $100 or more. Take your means into account.

What is a bridal shower vs. bachelorette party?

A bridal shower is typically a fun daytime party where guests bring gifts while showing support and appreciation. A bachelorette party is often held at night and is more typically a night out on the town or another way to cut loose with her BFFs before the wedding.

What is a male bridal shower called?

A male bridal shower is called a groom roast. It’s a time for the groom to get together with his closest friends before the wedding and celebrate. Some couples choose to ditch the bridal shower and the groom roast and host a coed wedding shower to invite their mutual friends.